Start Talking About Sex While Kids Are Young

Many parents are terrified of the subject of sex when it comes to their young children. Even labeling body parts can be a struggle. Often times we give body parts cute names like "wee wee" etc. for example, instead of the actual term penis. We are terrified that if we give our child the correct label they will say it in front of someone else! Heaven forbid they go to preschool and teach the name to some other child who then tells their parent and then we get a phone call!

While I fully understand this fear, I think that we establish credibility with our children from a very young age. When we give children age appropriate, and accurate answers to their questions they build their trust in us. Young children take our word as gospel, but as children get older and have more sources for information they can tell if we have given them the truth or if we sugar coated it.

It is not only the truth that counts, but the fact that telling the facts accurately shows that we can handle difficult subjects. Children pick up from us early on if we are comfortable or not with a topic. While we may not be entirely comfortable talking about it anyway lets them know that we are open to telling them what they want to know, and that we are a good source of information. Meaning they do not have to seek elsewhere for the true details.

This does not mean that we should tell kids things that are not age appropriate. We only need to give them the information they are asking for. Little kids for example (around 3 years) just need very basic facts. If they are not satisfied with the answer we give they will keep asking why until they have the information that makes sense to them.

As kids get older they will want more sophisticated explanations. Parents can feel blessed if their children come to them for answers to tough questions. This means that your child feels comfortable asking you. Feel good that you have created an open environment for conversation!

If the subject of sex is not approached in any form, meaning where babies come from, what body parts are called etc. until kids are older they may move on to other sources such as friends for their information. Kids can read our comfort level. We can say to them that it is a tough subject to discuss, but that we want them to be comfortable asking us anything and that we will try to give them information to the best of our abilities.

Use the opportunities your children give you as they grow to help them feel comfortable with their bodies and with discussing tough subjects. The more comfortable they feel as children the more comfortable they will feel talking to you as teens when the pressure is on. Don't wait until your children are teens to have "the talk" they will probably already have information from other sources by then, and the sources will probably not give them the values and morals that you want them to have!