Erections and How to Talk to Young Boys About Them

The topic of erections can be a tough one to tackle. That being said, good for you for searching for the information to get started! Kids start to experience things before they even have the right words to ask questions about what is happening. If your child asks you why something is happening to their body they are ready to know.

You know your child best. You know what their vocabulary is like. When you answer a question like "why does my "wee wee" do that" you will want to use words that your child already knows to try to explain. You can say that it is a natural response, and that sometimes it just happens for no reason. Translated into kid language: it is the way that part of your body responds and it is normal and OK.

If they ask "why" you could say something like, "it is like a muscle and when it stretches it becomes bigger or a different shape", have him try to make a bicep muscle to compare or show him one of your muscles. Or if he is able to understand a concept like blood flow you can tell him that it changes in response to blood flow.

It depends on the age of the child as to what is appropriate for an explanation or example. The previous examples would be best for a 2-5 year old. As kids get older your response can be more in depth depending on their frame of reference.

Let him know that he is OK and that it will not hurt him. Some kids say that "it" hurts when they have an erection because they do not have another way to understand what is happening.

Even from a young age kids start to develop body consciousness, and a comfort level with their bodies. They will get an understanding of what is OK and what is not based on how their care takers respond. Kids need to hear the biologically appropriate names for their body parts like "penis". They can often handle it better and more matter of factually than we can!

There is always the fear that they will go to pre-school or grade school and share this knowledge with classmates leading to teachers or other parents being concerrned, but if we are able to handle this fear we are one step closer to creating an environment for communication that allows for true openness.

Talking to your kids at a young age will encourage them to continue to ask questions as they get older. I get a lot of questions from parents of teenagers about how to talk to their kids about sex. A lot of them have had very few conversations about the topic up to this point, and their kids do not want to talk or say "yea I know", or "ewww, that has nothing to do with me". Younger kids will be more likely to seek and trust their parent's advice. Develop this relationship early and it will last through the teenage years.

You lay the foundation for good communication about all the tough topics in life when your children are young. (This does not mean that you can not create great communication with a teenager so do not give up if your kids are older!) They take their cues from you. They can see if you are comfortable or not, and believe it or not, your kids will avoid these issues if you are not willing to tackle them.

You show them that you are not afraid of tough topics and that you can handle anything by giving them accurate information when they ask. Even if you do not have the answer off the top of your head tell them that it is an important question, and that you will find out the answer and let them know. Be brave so that you can have great communication and your child can be confident about and comfortable with their body!

Being Forced to Slow Down Is Not All Bad

Wow! I was forgetting what peace is like with two boys running around non stop. Illness has kept us from our usual routine, and offered a gift at the same time. I have stomach bug "Duane" to thank for this.(I am naming the stomach bugs like hurricanes to add humor to an otherwise tragic situation!) As I type this a perfect storm of nap schedules has occurred for the first time in months. Both children are sleeping at the same time!

This week in spite of everything being turned upside down, client schedules, blogging, etc. I have stopped to really appreciate the moments I have with my young children. It is so easy to get caught up in everything that I have to "do" that I forget to stop, and appreciate the smaller moments. Everyone says to "enjoy them while they are little", and for today I am stopping to do just that.

We are surrounded by so much chaos and stress. If you are blessed with small children in your midst take time to really see and hear them. It may just be the best few minutes of your day or your week. Take time to see all the things around you that are beautiful. They are beautiful everyday, we just have to stop and take notice.

Remember that you are amazing and worth loving, take care of yourself everyday!

Start Talking About Sex While Kids Are Young

Many parents are terrified of the subject of sex when it comes to their young children. Even labeling body parts can be a struggle. Often times we give body parts cute names like "wee wee" etc. for example, instead of the actual term penis. We are terrified that if we give our child the correct label they will say it in front of someone else! Heaven forbid they go to preschool and teach the name to some other child who then tells their parent and then we get a phone call!

While I fully understand this fear, I think that we establish credibility with our children from a very young age. When we give children age appropriate, and accurate answers to their questions they build their trust in us. Young children take our word as gospel, but as children get older and have more sources for information they can tell if we have given them the truth or if we sugar coated it.

It is not only the truth that counts, but the fact that telling the facts accurately shows that we can handle difficult subjects. Children pick up from us early on if we are comfortable or not with a topic. While we may not be entirely comfortable talking about it anyway lets them know that we are open to telling them what they want to know, and that we are a good source of information. Meaning they do not have to seek elsewhere for the true details.

This does not mean that we should tell kids things that are not age appropriate. We only need to give them the information they are asking for. Little kids for example (around 3 years) just need very basic facts. If they are not satisfied with the answer we give they will keep asking why until they have the information that makes sense to them.

As kids get older they will want more sophisticated explanations. Parents can feel blessed if their children come to them for answers to tough questions. This means that your child feels comfortable asking you. Feel good that you have created an open environment for conversation!

If the subject of sex is not approached in any form, meaning where babies come from, what body parts are called etc. until kids are older they may move on to other sources such as friends for their information. Kids can read our comfort level. We can say to them that it is a tough subject to discuss, but that we want them to be comfortable asking us anything and that we will try to give them information to the best of our abilities.

Use the opportunities your children give you as they grow to help them feel comfortable with their bodies and with discussing tough subjects. The more comfortable they feel as children the more comfortable they will feel talking to you as teens when the pressure is on. Don't wait until your children are teens to have "the talk" they will probably already have information from other sources by then, and the sources will probably not give them the values and morals that you want them to have!